What happens when I open a word document at 3 a.m.

So, it took me forever to remember my password for this, and 2 e-mail accounts to reset it, but here's what's been on my mind lately. Forgive the typos, please. I wrote it quickly and late at night. Out of respect and courtesy, I will edit it at a later time.

It’s always been my goal to emotionally connect to or understand to my fullest potential every song that I perform. Lately, and frankly, I’ve betrayed that sense of purpose. I hurry my understanding, and miss out on the real subtleties that people have added to their music. The texture. The heart. The sheer fact that…these people felt something strongly enough to put it down on paper…and then find the melody in their heart to track onto a machine, et cetera, and here we are with it.

I want to write music that I love. Songs that I can look at and say “that fulfilled its purpose” even if it’s an older song that I may not agree with the attitude anymore; at that time, it fulfilled its purpose. There’s still a chance, too, that someone will still connect with it. Connections.

I want to make connections with people. I don’t want them to care whether I smoke or not…or honestly, what my favorite movie is because even I’m not too sure anymore.

I have a desire to stand up and sing about something that I KNOW you’ve been through before or a story you’ll enjoy hearing. I want to get it all out on stage, while you get it all out with me. I want to make something that makes you dance, that pops up into conversation, that makes you cry, that you put on mix tapes to your friends.

And not because the fame is important. It’s really not. I want it because I need it just as much as you do.

I have these special, amazing talents that God has given me, and I can say that because He is special and amazing and such a huge part of my life even when I forget about him. I cannot let these gifts go to waste. I cannot.

When I was born, my grandmother said that my “long” fingers were made to play the piano. Pretty sure my hands are smaller than even some of my girl friends.

Whatever my hands touch. I want to be straight from me. I don’t want to be anyone else. Any cover I ever play will have my own spin on it because I believe each person has their own interpretation and understanding of life; therefore, my music will be different than others’.

I’ve been singing this one song forever. It’s a favorite, but for the past few years I’ve knocked it out of the set list because I always play it, it’s cliché, the chords are too easy, the key’s too low. If it’s a favorite, put it out there. Give it meaning. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Trust me from experience and tips from others…if you mess up a chord…no one’s gonna notice. And if someone does, God Bless America there are other kids out there who understand music, how it works, and how humans are not perfect. We’re learning constantly.